I was seriously surprised at how anxious I was leading up to the ‘Live’ show with Jon Katz at the Barre Opera House. It started the Friday before the Tuesday event. I became emotionally reactive, rather than responsive. My body felt incredibly tense and at times I felt like I was shaking internally. It interfered with my ability to thoroughly prepare for the interview. I had trouble concentrating and focusing. And it impaired my memory of the evening. Reports from others, including Sandy, were that my inner turmoil was not apparent. This is a relief… As I wrote in my bio, I am always trying to understand myself and conquer my demons. Was it fear of failure? Was it simply the stress of a live audience? Was it hormones and bad timing? Did I not meditate as much as usual? I had not done as much yoga the four weeks prior. That may have impacted me.
It was a shock to my system and I have been working to get grounded since the show (by reading, meditating, relaxing, talking with people I love). I just happen to know a therapist who specializes in stage fright, Ron Thompson. It is worth talking it over with him. This experience has shown me the importance of maintaining balance in my life (mind, body, soul, and spirit) and that even with our best efforts, life will still throw us a curve ball just to make sure that we are paying attention.